I've been avoiding piano for two months! After not being able to play for a month, I'm afraid to go back, because maybe, I can't play anymore or something ;__; I FORCED myself to practice Survivor today, and... I'm happy to say, I'm practically done and ready to record :)
Randomly I also played Love Story, If We Hold On Together, The Rose, and I'll Make a Man Out of You XD
This morning was really good :) So far, three days in a row of waking up at 5:15 for Hoon Dok He with my mom. I'll do anything to be with my mom more. And not have anyone HOG her all day...
Lost 42 pounds so far. Walking is a chore, no energy, but man I am not going to fail this time. So close. I haven't been this skinny since... I can't remember. I'm skinnier than 8th grade!! I'm so happy. Only 16 more pounds to go~~~
Chinatown with my friends yesterday was SOOOO FUN. OMG SO FUN. Chinatown's boutiques have the CUTEST clothes I've ever seen in America!! Over Kohl's, Old Navy, Target, Wal-Mart, all those stores, I'm going back to Chinatown for my clothes shopping!! I actually fit into the Japanese dress and cover-up that I tried in the fashion magazine clipping covered fitting room!! I was so happy!! I NEED formal clothes for church, but I want to wait to spend any money on clothes until I reach my goal weight, which is BECKY!!! Becky Onechan. 43kg :) So, I was mostly scouting out the prettiest Asian styles in Chinatown, preparing my fashion sense for when I will get down to really picking and purchasing a pretty dress, or skirt XD
I hope, when I get to 43kg, I'm not too bony. Or worse, I hope I'm not still chubby!!! Becky's 157cm, 43kg, I'm 162cm... so if I'm the same weight as her I should be skinnier... we're exactly the same nationality, but still, she's lived in Japan so long, and I'm born and bred in America, eating American food, drinking too much milk in my childhood! I have bigger bones than Asian girls!! Bigger hips too. I've been bumping into chairs and tables with my hips these days for some reason. GAH. Still look so fat. Trying so hard. I'm happy to see proof that I'm not as fat, omg sooo fat as before though, because NOTHING FITS ME ANYMORE HAH. Everything is baggy! The shirts and jeans I only dreamed about fitting two months ago are now baggy, and fall off without unbuttoning. WOOT!! Not so good if I don't want to spend money until the very end and I have only clothes that slip off, especially my church skirt, but still, I'm so happy. And I will be happier when I finally reach my goal weight, but that brings a terrifying situation.
How in the world will I start eating more without gaining all the weight back? Eat a tiny bit more every day? I've been eating the same thing over and over every day, with only tiny variations. Oatmeal, fruits, vegetables, cereal with non fat milk. That's all. Every day. Oh, miso soup for dinner with my veggies. Anyway, this was supposed to be a one paragraph entry! Sigh.
Anyway, when I finally get to be my dream weight, I won't have to be afraid of Asia, especially Japan and Korea, and Japanese clothes, or Japanese fitting rooms anymore! Because I will be the same size as all pretty Japanese girls~~~
