It worked!

Last week I had like four nights of nightmares in a row. Horrible nightmares. And last night I was afraid to go to sleep so I cried and prayed, then put True Parent's picture above me on my bookshelf, the DP under my pillow, and gripped TP's little picture and a paperbooklet of quotes on True Love by True Father until I fell asleep.

I even woke up early, before my little sister! (That's pretty early. I know I get sleeping in late from homeschooling ><;) and am ready for the day. I'm redetermined to take care of my younger brothers and sisters, blood-related and extended. I have not been doing so great at that for the past 18 years ;__;

I miss my relatives in Japan and England. It's been 2.5 years since going to Japan, I think 7 years since going to England. Especially since getting in touch with cousin Linda and Jennie, whom I don't remember in any memories, I miss them a lot!!!! I can't remember them at all, at allll I feel bad and I miss them. They are family, yet we are thousands of miles away. Families aren't supposed to be like that. When I get married and have a family, I want to be close to my parents so my children will have their grandparents nearby.

I wish I were close with my cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents ;___; And friends too. The only one I am close to is Jake. My dog. Just kidding. My little sister, I am closest to. Kristyyyyyy <3 Misa has gotten so far away the past several months I think... =( Me and Justin though, have music and younger BCs to keep us connected. Partly thanks to youtube haha!

To be honest I forced myself not to look at youtube after uploading sorry sorry on piano, hoping it'd reach 20,000 by the time I looked today. How disappointed I was HAHA. 1,000. I haven't had a real good hit since June last year. Has my piano playing skill deteriorated? Do I choose the wrong songs? Do I play them too late, after other people have played awesome covers? How did Royal Pirates get 40,000+ views in four days!! I'm so, so jealous. I've never gotten that.

Maybe... Super Junior's "Why I Like You" and "Reset" is what everyone wants to hear? I know Yoonha85 probably won't be doing that, he likes to stick to the huge hits of mainstream media. And he's GOOD at it omg, so good. Royal Pirates too, only do the biggest hits like Mirotic.

So... what I have to do is play songs super fast, as quick as possible after release or leakage, play it well, and give chords/tutorial. Maybe I will make people happy like that...? ;__;

I thought I was good at banging songs, fast loud songs, but now it seems like quiet, emotional songs are easier @.@ In either case, I know my playing has declined in some way because I can't play classical anymore. I haven't really really tried, but my fingers aren't as accurate as a few years ago, during classical lessons. Maybe I need classical lessons again, this time seriously. Just to up my k-pop playing? LOL.

I miss w-inds. I owe them so much more than one piano version (ageha). Moriyama Naotarou too. They were the ones that introduced my to the world of Asian music. If it wasn't for them, who knows, I might still be stuck on Evanescence and Linkin Park ><;

Today, I will practice sorry sorry on guitar with Justin. Also Nae Meoriga Nappaseo on guitar. And Auld Lang Syne on piano. I want to dedicate that to Jennie and Linda <3 Also, library, grocery shopping, English lesson, vacuuming... I'll try to keep a positive attitude, in contrast to yesterday's depression.

The Open Window by Saki was funny! XD