I will not surrender.
Why can't I sleep? I slept until 2am, then BAM wide awake. So I watched the last episode of Coffee Prince. I downloaded "Fiction" Beast's new song. And am planning today in my head. I miss my school friends. I know One Heart Camp is going to be oh so hard again, like always. I pray this time I can focus on my group, on growing, on giving my all to every one of my brothers and sisters, instead of focusing on my stupid disorder, as well as only one person.
The path to recovery is so hard.
But I can't not take it, there's only one path. I might take a super long time, complaining, whining, throwing up, crying, feeling hopeless, yet feeling absolutely joy, love, support and care at the same time... but I will eventually see the end of this long, tiring, unbelievable disorder, yups. And then, the road to real life begins :)
I WILL NOT SURRENDER.
Today looks so cold, it's not a good day to go to the beach :( I hope Santa Cruz is warmer. I will be skinny again so the next time we go to the beach I will wear whatever I want and feel pretty again. I wonder who my husband will be.
No comments:
Post a Comment