The moment I finished typing, he texted me.

We are to un-become best friends.

I will never give that much of myself to another, ever in my entire life. I have only gratitude to God and him that it never went further than best friends, but... I cannot imagine next semester. And I don't think my shocked, strangled heart will heal for a long time, nor these tears run dry tonight.

I have never felt like this before. Utter emotional agony. Regret, pain, despair, terror. And I didn't find God's hand in time to be with Him to lessen this shocking loneliness. This hurts so much. I was so stupid. What am I going to do.