Come on, come on...

Biked 32 miles yesterday... yesssss... felt so good, sweaty, tired, awesome!

Walked 4.6 miles, back from church, then biked 5 miles to the park to see the free concert that no one will go with me to so I will MAKE my own happiness and not depend on anyone else! Now for my daily walk with my sister... and then a movie and bed.

And today, food was good! No control-issues, a bit of anxiety, but overall splendid! :D I'm so happy! I have accidentally decided to not think about camp, not worry about it because there's nothing I can do about it anyway, so I will just freak out, cry, and be terrified this Thursday evening while I'm getting ready to go.

He invited me to hang out before he performs at the fair tomorrow. Hang out, with other friends too if they can make it... but... honestly, I'm scared. I don't want to. But I...

Yesterday, I biked to school. That was my plan. I visited my building, but then wondered... what if I keep going? Just going straight... I've never seen the end of this street. Okay so I kept going and going, and singing along OUT LOUD with my iPod, belting out songs cuz no one was around... the street turned into another name, and another name... then I thought.

What if I bike to HIS house?

It's MILES away, a little DRIVE, but... what if. Once I imagined myself going to bike to visit him for fun... of course, when we were still friends. But well, when the idea popped into my head, there was no turning back.

I got quite lost, in the middle of a big dusty industrial area/brown fields. It hit me where I was, I was WAY OFF, so I just followed my shadow and OH YEAH. I was so happy when I made it, not because it was his house but because I found my way and I knew it was MILES and miles.

I sat across his street and wrote my journal. Then... I wrote a note in the code he taught me that we used to use, snuck up to his grandpa's pick up truck, stuck it under the windshield wiper, and hightailed outta there.

32 miles... 5 hours... sweaty, aching... physically so happy :)

Bulimia free for one day, yay. Baby steps...